Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Kat!??

Sit down, buckle your seatbelt and hold on to your fairydust tinkerbell cuz I don't do it very often but I'm about to go on a rant...

So apparently 97.9 The Rock will now be known as 97.9 The Kat, I mean I can't say I didn't see it coming since they had basically already changed the format a month or so ago when I completely quit listening but "The Kat"!? Hmm...I guess they needed a lameass name to go with their new lameass format. Well, I'll offer them a big congratulations on suck-ceding in that. I dunno...maybe I'm all alone here but a radio station on this little island that plays nothing but music from the 50's 60's and 70's?? Is that really what the majority of people want to hear around here?

I'll admit The Rock was pretty much my default station on my car radio and while it wasn't as good as some of the satellite stations which I can get at home over the internet, it was at least decent some of the time. I think they even had a liner one time which said something like "You're listening to the Rock 97.9...we suck less", which I thought was pretty dead on. But, it would seem that Sorenson in it's great wisdom decided not only to let Daddy Long Legs and his brother get away (boneheaded mistake #1) but it then decided to change the format of a station which, with a little work, could have been pulling in a decent audience.

Both of my dedicated readers will remember that in one of my previous posts I revealed that I am a child of the late 80's/early 90's so it should not come as too much of a surprise that I would MUCH prefer to hear rock from (in your best announcer voice) "the 80's, 90's and today". And while I got nothing but love for the "classic" rock, I mean groups like CCR, The Beatles, Doors, Hendrix, and Lynard are timeless and they certainly have their place. But these d00ds over at The Pussy...er I mean Kat are purr-ferring to play Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and other random B-side crap from that era that certainly no one from my generation has ever heard of...or really wants to hear, period. But then again...maybe I'm wrong.

I mean, in the Variety article today the management "conducted a survey on Guam and learned that most of the respondents prefer a classic rock format which is also popular among the listeners in the U.S." Gee ain't that just peachy...I guess that means we over here in SAIPAN get stuck with whatever the majority of folks want in GUAM...is anyone else feeling me here or am I being to SUBTLE?

Well, so as not to be misunderstood on exactly what I think of the new format of 97.9 I've spent some of my valuable time coming up with some alternative names and liners for our new feline themed radio station.

"You're listening to 97.9 The Anal Vacuum, cuz we suck a$$!"

“Keep it tuned here to 97.9 The AM Radio, cuz that's where we belong"

"We are 97.9 The Adult Diaper cuz we're designed for the elderly and we're full of S%*t”

Does anyone else out there have any suggestions for Saipan's latest greatest reincarnation? If so then please feel free to share them with the rest of us in the comments section. I can't wait to see what yall come up with.

When Ipod Tried to Kill the Radio Star

Sucking Quote of the Day:

“The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly' meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks' meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.”

-Larry Hardiman

“Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.”

-Jack Handy


KAP said...

Hello Kitty? Do they play I'm Turning Japanese?

Aliens forty light years away should be familiar with this format.

Jeff said...

I'm driving to work this morning and they bust out Neil Sedaka -- proudly. This evening it's all disco. Interspliced with that is something cool like The Cars Moving in Stereo. All in all, the suck is pretty prominent.

lil_hammerhead said...

97.9 (the rock) was pretty much our default station as well. It wasn't the best rock station on the planet.. but at least 98% of the time.. it was rock. Now it's just __________________ (insert derogatory term of your choice).

A couple Ipods and a couple other MP3 players have been laying around the house for a couple of years.. we've finally put them to use. It's just such a hassle to download all of the music you want for the following few days. There are plenty of podcasts.. but you could spend all night long mining through all the substandard crap without finding a single gem.